The following is article is by Go Go Mama Go expert contributor Shelby Riley, a licensed marriage and family therapist balancing life as a wife, mom, clinician and online entrepreneur.  Please feel free to check out her websites: www.ShelbyRileyMFT.com (private practice) and www.FamilyHelpToday.com (online marketplace) to learn more about Shelby.

I used to go to parties dreading the moment when people would ask me, “So, what do you do?” I worried that when people found out I was a family therapist, I’d get one of two very common reactions. They’d either ask, “Have you been analyzing me this entire time?” Or they’d say, “Boy, could I use some advice,” and launch into an hour diatribe about their brother’s marital problems. So when asked, I would often quietly and apologetically mumble that I was a therapist and quickly change the subject.

This hurt me in several ways. I didn’t enjoy parties very much because I was dreading this moment. I didn’t come across as confident and passionate about my work. And I missed out on incredible opportunities to market my business.

When I realized I could be marketing myself in common social interactions, I got excited, and then I quickly got worried. Would people find me pushy? Would they think I was using them only to market myself? Would I be able to think fast enough to market myself well or would I hurt my business by stammering and bumbling, or worse, using clinical “psychobabble” that bored people to death?

In my experience, women have a harder time marketing themselves and their businesses. Men have society’s permission to be proud and open about their professional accomplishments. And people ask them clearly about their business endeavors. Women often tell me they feel like they come off as cold, egotistical, or power-hungry if they talk about their businesses. They say they feel like they are supposed to be talking about their kids, their husbands, or their household gripes. They say they don’t want to alienate other women, or feel belittled by men. Women need to find a way to move through these preconceived notions of what feels appropriate and comfortable in order to market themselves and own their success as business-owners. (And I will tell you that the men I work with admit they feel uncomfortable marketing their businesses, too. There are very few people in the world who feel naturally skilled in this area!)

In order to get more comfortable marketing my practice, I took some advice from people who do this, and do it well.

1. Create a 30-second blurb about your business. It should clearly state what you do, convey your passion and expertise, and leave opportunity for people to ask more about you and your business. You want it to be short and effective; you don’t need to explain every little detail about what you do or how you got started. And speak without any self-deprecation, put-downs or apologies. Women are notorious for talking about themselves in this way! My blurb goes something like this: “I’m a marriage and family therapist and I have a private practice in Chester Springs. I work with all parts of the family. I love being able to help people make the changes they want to see in their relationships.” I know, it sounds corny. It even reads corny. But when I say it, and mean it, people always want to know more about what I do.

2. Be ready to answer follow-up questions in a succinct way that also lets people know who your ideal clients are and how they can get in touch with you. Let’s say you create and sell personalized baby gifts. After your quick blurb, someone might ask, “What kind of gifts?” Be ready with a succinct answer. “I offer a wide array of gifts. Embroidered blankets, burp cloths and the most adorable monogrammed diaper covers…but the best selling item I carry is a personalized pajama set that is made from the softest cotton you’ve ever touched. I have a website with all of my merchandise. If you ever need a baby shower gift, be sure to check it out. I’ve heard quite a few times that my pajama set was the best gift at the shower.”

3. Always have business cards with your website and contact information ready to hand over. Keep them in a card holder so they are clean and professional. Nothing looks worse than digging an old, crumpled card from the bottom of your purse. Having a website is a great way to market yourself, even if it only serves as an online brochure. If you run out of business cards, tell people the URL of your site, and also give them tips on how to Google you. I always tell people they can find me by simple using my name, but they will have more luck if they remember to put the LMFT after my name.

4. Look for opportunities for referral relationships. You never know who can help you promote your business. One of my best referrals came at a doctor’s office. There I sat, feeling horrible with a sinus infection, when the doctor asked about my work schedule and stress level. I told her I had a private practice and was in control of how much I worked and could manage my stress by only taking on clients I knew I could work well with. She asked who that would be, and because I had practiced (a ton!) I could clearly tell her who my ideal clients are. Referral relationships should feel mutually beneficial, so make sure you can identify some way your business (or connections) can benefit the other person. With this doctor, I asked about her comfort and expertise prescribing anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications. She could be a great resource for my clients, and I could be a great resource for her patients. If you can’t readily identify some way you can support the person’s business, ask. They may have some creative ideas about how you can benefit each other.

5. Lastly, remember that you went into business with the idea that what you know or make or do can help other people. Use this mindset to give yourself permission to talk openly and confidently about your business. It’s not all about you and being successful and making money. People tell me that’s the number one emotional trigger that keeps them from talking about their business. They feel self-centered and fear they will come off that way. Connect with the part of your business that is about serving others before you start talking and you will find you might have an easier time telling others about your business in a way that inspires them to find out more. Also, leave room in the conversation for the other person to talk about their passions and interests. Know that you can follow the conversation down a more personal road, and if you feel like you’d like to add more about your business, look for connections that can let you bring the conversation back to your business. Sometimes, though, less really is more, especially if you’ve already given them a clear sense of what you offer, who your ideal clients are, and how to get in touch with you.

The more you practice talking about your business, the better at it you’ll be. In the beginning, you might want to give yourself some “marketing-free” places where you don’t feel like you have to talk about your work life. No one likes the pressure to be doing something uncomfortable all the time (even if it is self-inflicted pressure!) I’m sure with enough practice, though, you will find the confidence, comfort, and peace with marketing yourself in ways that are effective and still feel authentic.

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